Hidden Desires
by Felinae Silvestris
Summary: It takes guts to tell someone your deepest darkest fantasy. It takes a whole lot more to go ahead and carry it out. Trust is important, and no matter how much you think you know someone, they might just surprise you. Rating bumped up to M due to content.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello. This is a fic I finished a little while ago. It was originally intended as a gift for a friend, but circumstances changed things slightly and we no longer talk. However, this is still written with this friend in mind and I know not whether he has read it. It's available on my forum on the Jellicle Realms site. It's something a little closer to what I like to write, and I did enjoy writing it immensely. It will be posted here in its entirety, although the rating will be bumped up after this chapter. There's a lesson in it, but it's up to you whether you spot the lesson. Enjoy, kiddos. Oh, and they're anthro-felines in this story... not magical kitties who transform into real cats the second a human spots them.

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_**Hidden Desires**_

**Chapter 1 – The Note**

_Hey gorgeous, __  
__Remember what we talked about the other night? I'm still up for it if you are, babe. Come on over to my place, tonight. You'll have the time of your life, I promise you that. I'll be waiting for you, darling. _

_You Know Who __  
__XX _

Casandra smiled a little to herself, folding the note up carefully and tucking it away in the top drawer of her bedside cabinet. She perched on the edge of the soft bed, staring at her reflection in the mirror and remembering the conversation that had spawned the letter. She thought it had been a mistake, going off with Alonzo after hearing of his reputation with queens. Bombalurina had already warned her several times, not to get herself in too deep with the black and white tom, unless she wanted to end up heartbroken. She was sure that the red queen was totally wrong now, after the night they'd spent together. They had walked, talked and done pretty much nothing else. He'd been the perfect gentleman, flirting a lot and suggesting things but nothing more. He hadn't even tried to kiss her until he'd walked her home. It took all Cassandra had not to invite him inside then and there.

He had just been so sweet, and so easy to talk to. They'd shared a couple of drinks, which had seemed to loosen her tongue considerably. Cassandra had told Alonzo a lot of things that night; she just knew he wouldn't judge her. He seemed to understand her, and she'd confessed to a lot of things. In truth, Cassandra was lonely and feeling unsatisfied. She'd talked about some interesting things with her queen friends, and found herself powerfully curious. This curiosity she'd confessed to Alonzo, and to her greatest surprise he understood exactly what she meant. He had offered to help her find out more, and Cassandra saw no reason to refuse. Hence the note he'd sent this morning.

She was quite surprised, although she didn't know much about Alonzo. She'd known him for years, but they'd not really spent much time together. Still, his knowledge was quite unexpected, although pleasantly so. She just felt he would take care of her. It was still a surprise that she could have found someone who both shared her curiosity and had enough experience to help her explore it. To some cats, her fantasy may seem tame, but it was hers. Apparently, it was also about to become a reality.

The dark queen sighed, standing up and posing, admiring her slim figure in the mirror. "Not bad, I suppose," she muttered to herself, brushing imaginary dust out of her fur. "Could be worse," she decided, obviously there was something Alonzo found attractive about her. There was nothing left to do. She was ready to go now. It had taken her a while, much longer than usual to get ready tonight. She hoped the extra effort would be worth it, when she arrived at Alonzo's place. It was late, but she didn't have far to walk.

Cassandra shivered a little as she stepped outside, noticing it was getting chilly at night. The only sound was a cool breeze rustling through the trees, and for a moment the darkness felt rather ominous. The moment passed quickly though, and Cassandra shook off those feelings, telling herself there was nothing at all to worry about. Everyone got a little nervous about walking so late at night, since the darkness could do strange things with the imagination. The dark queen walked on, growing in confidence with every step she took. A flutter of excitement made her pause at the door, just for a moment, to collect herself before she rang the bell.

The door opened a moment later and Cassandra gave a nervous smile to the tom standing there. Whatever else the other queens said about him, not one of them could deny that he was good-looking. Yes, he was definitely attractive, tall, handsome and with that easy going smile of his. The dark queen wondered why she hadn't really noticed him before now.

"Cassie, come on in," he said, smiling back in a most reassuring way. He even held out a paw to lead the queen up the front step. He pointed her towards the sitting room, locking the door securely before following on. At least then they wouldn't be disturbed by any unwanted visitors.

Cassandra looked around the room, it felt warm and inviting. The décor was simple, but it was effective. The light yellow of the walls warmed the lamplight nicely, complementing the mahogany furnishings perfectly.

"Take a seat," Alonzo told her, pointing towards the large sofa. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes, please," Cassandra answered politely, sitting down promptly. "A vodka and tonic if you have it."

Alonzo nodded, moving over to a sideboard, upon which a few bottles of spirits were lined up, with mixers to one side and an ice bucket in the center. He poured two vodka and tonics, adding a squeeze of lime to each before picking up both glasses and handing one to Cassandra.

"You have a beautiful home," she told Alonzo as he sat down beside her on the sofa.

"Thank you. It suits my needs. I must say I'm rather fond of the old place." The patched tom paused to sip his drink. "I'm… glad you could make it, I was worried you wouldn't come."

Cassandra smiled shyly. "Why's that?" It was obvious that he'd gone to a lot of trouble to prepare for her arrival. He had drinks ready and candles lit on the mantelpiece above a warm imitation log fire. The place was clean and comfortable.

"I wasn't sure if you were really interested."

"Well I am. I'm here, aren't I?" Cassandra replied, intending to sound reproving but coming across as shy instead.

Alonzo smiled. "Yeah, I guess. You're sure about this?"

"Yeah…"

"You don't sound too certain."

"No, I'm just nervous, I suppose."

"You're in safe paws, Cass. If it's too much, just say stop."

"I will." Cassandra assured him. "I have to admit that I never thought you were the type to be into… that sort of thing."

"I could say the same, sweetheart. Don't you worry, I know what I'm doing. We'll take things slow, yeah?"

"Okay."

"Come here," he told her, reaching out his free arm around her shoulders and letting her cuddle against him. They sat in silence for a moment, sipping away at their drinks comfortably. Cassandra found that she didn't feel awkward, even when they weren't talking. She found herself thinking ahead, smiling at another nervous flutter in her stomach. She nuzzled his neck, purring softly as the vodka filtered through her bloodstream, slowly relaxing her.

That was, of course, what it was meant to do. Taking that bold first step, Cassandra shifted to lay a soft kiss on his cheek. He put his glass down, taking hers as well. Both were now empty, dripping condensation onto the coffee table. Alonzo kissed her properly, chuckling softly when she jumped. His other paw must have been cold from the glass, but he kept it on her waist regardless and she soon forgot about the cold.

When the kiss ended, Cassandra smiled shyly, it had been a long time since anyone had kissed her quite so sweetly. Alonzo returned the smile with much more confidence, pulling a strip of silk from nowhere. At least, it seemed like he'd just plucked it out of the air, but he'd hidden it behind the cushions of the sofa well in advance of this moment. The patched tom turned to Cassandra, holding up the blindfold and meeting the queen's ice-blue eyes.

"Do you trust me?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Here's chapter 2. It's a bit late, but things have been a bit mental. I've bumped the rating up to M, for reasons soon to be apparent when you read. Mainly some light bondage and suggestive themes, although there's nothing explicit. The next chapter is the final one, and I'm looking forward to it. Enjoy...

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**Chapter 2 – Absolutely Divine**

Cassandra gave a nod, feeling another little flutter of nerves at the idea of the blindfold. This was really happening. Of course she trusted him, she wouldn't be here if she didn't. She reached up a paw to take the shiny black cloth from him but he held it away from her.

"Allow me."

Cassandra sat perfectly still, allowing Alonzo to cover her eyes with the blindfold and tie it nice and securely. Immediately her other senses were heightened, she could feel Alonzo standing behind her, hear him breathing, smell his scent. There was a brief moment of panic when she heard him move away, but it was quickly dismissed when she felt his paw on hers.

"I'm here. Just relax."

Cassandra gave a nod, her smile betraying her nerves yet again. His voice was soothing though, and it helped her to relax. It still took her by surprise when he kissed her again. It was about then that she became completely at ease with the situation, practically melting under his touch.

"How about another drink?" Alonzo suggested as he broke off the kiss.

"Okay." Cassandra replied uncertainly, wondering if she should be taking off the blindfold.

"Stay there, I'll be right back."

She heard him returning a moment later, to the sound of ice clinking in glasses. She reached out a paw blindly, in the direction she thought he was in. Alonzo chuckled at her efforts to retrieve the drink but he refused to give it to her.

"No, no. Not like that," he told her. "Like this," he added, dipping a finger into the glass then pressing it to her lips. Blushing just a little, Cassandra opened her mouth, obediently licking the vodka from his finger. She'd have happily finished off the glass like this. She did feel shy, and she was afraid to look him in the eyes just yet.

It would have taken all night though to finish the drink, so Alonzo only did it another couple of times before setting the glass aside. Cassandra waited to see what he would do next and was not surprised when he kissed her again, a lingering kiss that set off the butterflies in her stomach once more. When it ended, she sighed softly, a vague smile on her face.

"Come on, let's go upstairs," Alonzo said, smirking when she blushed again. He removed the blindfold and helped her stand with a strong paw. He didn't let go of her paw while they climbed the stairs and walked along to his bedroom. No words were exchanged, they weren't really necessary.

When he opened the door, Cassandra could see immediately that the same luxurious decor was carried throughout the house. The main feature of the room was clearly the large four-poster bed, in dark wood and very comfortable looking. Alonzo closed the door behind him, and took Cassandra's paw again to lead her over to the bed.

Tentatively, she sat down on the edge, feeling suddenly shy again. It must have shown, because he was quick to smile reassuringly.

"Don't be shy, get comfortable," he said.

Cassandra nodded meekly and shifted back to sit on the bed properly, finding that it was very comfortable. She made sure to leave enough room for him to join her, which he did promptly.

"Just relax, there's no need to worry about a thing."

"I'm not worried," Cassandra replied, initiating another kiss in a bold move to prove that she trusted him.  
Alonzo held her close, purring softly and caressing her sides as the kiss gained passion. He was about ready to step things up a notch, and start to show Cassandra what she'd come here for.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her.

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"I do."

At her answer, he smiled, leaning over to pluck a long strip of silk out from under the pillows, where it had been tucked out of sight. He tied it around the dark queens delicate wrist, making sure it was tight enough that she couldn't pull out of it, but still comfortable.

"Not too tight?" he asked, reaching over to get the strip on the other side to bind her left paw too.

"No," Cassandra answered, back to shyness again. She pulled at the bonds, just to test them. They were comfortable, but tight enough that she wouldn't be able to move.

"Good. I like the silk, it doesn't leave bruises like ropes or cuffs would. Besides, it's just nicer."

"It is nice," the queen agreed, watching the patched tom to see what he was going to do next. She couldn't do anything, after all. It was up to him now.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he told her, looking over her slim body with some anticipation.

"Oh... stop," she replied, blushing once more under his gaze. She couldn't help it. He had a knack for saying things that made her go red.

"I mean it Cass, you're one of the classiest queens I have ever met. I can hardly believe this is happening," he continued, no longer content with just looking, he knelt beside her on the bed, caressing her stomach with a gentle paw.

"Me neither," the queen replied, shivering pleasantly at his touch. She stared at his eyes, while he was still staring at her body, as if enthralled by her.

"Absolutely divine," he continued complimenting her, his paw working its way down her body. Already she was beginning to be aroused by his touches and her embarrassment began to fade. She wanted him, she knew that already, but she could see in his eyes that he wanted her too. She loved the feel of his paw stroking her. He was gentle enough but definitely doing a little more than just teasing her.

She gasped lightly when his finger brushed against that most sensitive spot, enthralled by that hungry expression on his face. He knew just the right way to touch her, easily giving the impression of a considerate and gentle lover. Cassandra frowned slightly when his paw moved away from her and opened her eyes, only just realising she'd closed them. He had stood up again and moved to the foot of the bed. He produced another strip of silk from beneath the mattress, watching her eyes to see how she truly felt about it.

"Is this okay?" he asked her, stroking a paw down her calf.

"Uhm..."

"It's just, you look so wonderful and I want to do this properly," Alonzo explained, smiling a shy little smile. "You're pretty like that."

"Okay. I trust you, Alonzo."

"I'm glad," he answered, setting about binding both her ankles.

"Perfect," he announced, once he'd finished. Cassandra flushed redder than before, realising just how much of her was on display in this position.

"You're beautiful Cassandra, I've wanted to have you like this for such a long time," he told her. She would have no idea quite how long. "Now, I finally have you all to myself. Better make this night count, darling."

"Why's that?" the dark queen asked innocently.

He grinned mischievously, "You'll see."


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: The final chapter. It's rated M for a reason, folks. See note at the end for more info.

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**Chapter 3 – A Hard Lesson Learned**

"I don't trust that grin," Cassandra pointed out, watching Alonzo.

The black and white tom rearranged his expression to look innocent once more, as he made a big show of checking the bonds. Then he turned his back on her, walking across the room towards a chest of drawers. He made sure to stand in the way, so that she couldn't see what he was removing from the top drawer.

"What are you doing?" Cassandra asked, craning her neck and trying to sit up.

"Patience, darling. You'll see in a moment," he answered, without turning around.

He pulled a table over beside the bed, laying a large cloth down on it. The material was held bunched up, and it sounded like it contained something heavy, from the noise it made when it landed on the smooth varnished wood. Cassandra continued to watch in confusion, while Alonzo spread out the cloth and began sorting through its contents.

She was starting to grow worried, some of those items looked kind of sharp, and the rest looked quite uncomfortable. Alonzo put her distinctly in mind of a surgeon preparing his kit for an operation. The image was really quite eerie.

"Alonzo..."

"What?"

"What's that stuff for?"

"You, darling. I thought that was obvious." He never stopped working while he spoke, not even bothering to look at the queen.

Cassandra gasped when he picked up a large, well-polished knife, placing it down again in its proper place. It was then that she began to realise that perhaps she'd gotten herself into something a little more dangerous than she'd expected.

"I thought you said you were going to take it slow," she said, her voice shaking quite a bit. She was definitely scared now.

"I am. The slower the better, sweetheart. I want to enjoy it," he replied, meeting her eyes and grinning wickedly. "Have you worked it out yet? Do you know why I brought you here?"

The dark queen flushed with embarrassment. "Yeah, because I wanted to... oh." She cut off her answer quickly, when Alonzo shook his head.

"No, pet. That's why you came. I want to teach you a few lessons, Cassandra. Important, valuable, life-lessons," the patched tom said.

"But-"

"Hush. It's my time to talk, darling." Alonzo told her, picking up a piece of silk, much like the blindfold he'd used earlier, and tying it around the queen's mouth.

"First lesson. Trust. I asked you earlier, if you trusted me, and you said yes, right?"

The dark queen gave a nod, her verbal response muffled by the gag, but she'd not yet learned to stop trying to talk through it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she began to realise just how bad this situation was.

"Do you think now, you were right to trust me?"

Cassandra shook her head vigorously.

"Good answer. Yet, you let me do this to you. You let me tie you up, allowed me to make sure you were left totally and utterly helpless. I can do anything I want to you now, Cassandra, and you won't be able to stop it."

The muffled whines from Cassandra were clearly supposed to be a plea for mercy or a request for him to stop. Alonzo just chuckled, picking up a length of thick rope and proceeding to tie it into a noose while she watched. He continued to talk, telling her exactly why he was doing this.

"I'm glad you did, Cassie. Really, I meant what I said. I've wanted to have you like this for the longest time. Years. And you had no idea, did you?"

Another headshake gave him the answer he expected. He continued to work, using more rope to tie each of her limbs tightly, and to each other. He set up a rather neat rope system, using the free end of the noosed rope as an attachment point for the free ends from the limbs. With the noose slipped around her neck, it meant that every time she struggled, she'd tighten the rope and strangle herself. The beauty of it was that she would find it difficult to kill herself this way, since the rope would stop tightening when she lost consciousness and stopped moving.

All the while, Cassandra was crying, her whimpers still audible while tears flowed freely down her face. She was terrified of Alonzo now, scared of how far he might take this.

"Of course not. I'm surprised you took any notice at all, you stuck-up bitch," the patched tom snarled, suddenly slapping her across the face. A squeal accompanied the jerk of her body, and her eyes widened in shock when she felt the rope contract around her throat a little.

He smiled when he saw her surprise. "A neat little system, don't you think. If you're good, I might even tell you where I learned it. Now, you're probably wondering why I'm doing this. I can see that you are. You're scared, confused, probably wishing you'd never come near this place. Am I right?"

Cassandra could only stare, her lack of a response saying everything. It was apparently enough to satisfy Alonzo.

"Thought so. It wouldn't surprise me if you've forgotten all about it. I never did. I never could forget what you did to me, Cassandra."

He picked up the knife, pointing at her casually. Not quite making a threat out of it, but he noticed she was watching it rather than him. He trailed a paw down her body, starting at her neck, over her breasts, down past her hip and along her thigh.

"I loved you. A long time ago. I tried to talk to you, and you let me. I was over the moon, especially when you told me that you shared my feelings. I couldn't believe it, and I told you how I felt. I told you exactly what I felt for you. Do you remember, Cassandra?" he asked, taking off the gag quite roughly.

"I... I do," she whispered, clearly struggling to control her breathing.

"Good," he replied, crawling onto the bed and sliding one leg over so that he was straddling her hips. "Do you remember what happened after that?" he asked, resting the point of the knife on her chest, just over where her heart was beating away, faster than usual thanks to her fear.

"Uhm..."

"No? You lied to me. You told me you felt the same way, and you meant none of it. You lied. Didn't you?"

"No, I..."

"Stop making excuses. You did and you know it. If you had meant what you said, I wouldn't have overheard you talking about me the next day. Telling Bombalurina that you thought I was 'cute' but you weren't really interested."

Cassandra fell silent, even her tears had stopped flowing. He was right, she remembered that day. She had been a teenager then, just a kid really, but she immediately felt guilty for doing that to Alonzo. How much of that was related to her current situation, she didn't know.

"You remember. Good. You hurt me, Cassandra. Then you ignored me. For months, every time I tried to talk to you, you were too busy, had somewhere else to be, something more important to do. I tried to be understanding, I really did, but you wouldn't give me the time of day. I tried to let it go, but you queens and your gossiping, you really need to be careful with that. You don't know who might be overhearing, and the bitchiness is just downright cruel."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for..."

"Save it. It's too late for that. I've had enough of being messed around by cats like you. I'm sick of being thought of as reliable, one of the good guys, one of the nice guys. I'm not that doormat anymore, Cassie. I'm a whole new tom and I'm much happier." His grin was just a little bit insane, and suddenly Cassandra realised that this wasn't just because of that one incident.

"You're crazy!"

"Mm. Maybe a little, pet." Alonzo replied, grinning wider. He slapped her again, a resounding crack preceding a shrill scream. The rope tightened again, now starting to make the dark queen feel just a little light headed.

"Alonzo, please! Don't do this... don't-"

"Don't what? Don't hurt you? Why not? You hurt me. Fair's fair."

"But..."

"But what? If I let you go, then I let you win. I can't have that, Cassie. I've got a point to make to the world, and this bed will be my soapbox. You're the message, darling. Congratulations." Alonzo said with a growl, stabbing her for the first time, deep into her belly. She screamed again, struggling and thus starting to strangle herself.

"Stop that. I want you to stay awake for this, darling," he told her, pulling the blade out sharply and inspecting the blood coating it. He stabbed her again and again, going for the less vital areas. He wanted to hurt her; he wasn't ready for her to die just yet. Cassandra screamed and cried, begging for him to stop but he never did. Eventually, she struggled so much that he was forced to cut the ropes, to make sure she didn't pass out.

Soon the cries died down, sobs and soft moans replacing them. All the dark queen knew was pain, and that it was her fault. She tried to focus her eyes, but her vision was fuzzy. She felt faint, the blood loss starting to take its toll on her body. It was clear she wasn't going to last much longer.

"I've wanted this for a long time, Cassandra. My most hidden desire was to have you like this. Goodnight, my darling."

"I'm... sorry, I l-"

Alonzo didn't let her finish, the broken whisper halting abruptly as he drove the blade deep into her heart. One final shaky breath and Cassandra's body finally gave out. Her final thoughts were filled with regret; she should have known not to trust someone she didn't know. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have ended up like this.

Yet, he was not finished with her. Once he could no longer feel her heart beat transferred via the knife, he pulled it out with a satisfying squelch. He worked quickly, cutting out the organ and leaving it beside her on the bed. That was his compensation. She had stolen his heart then tossed it aside so he did the same thing to her. He stood up, staring from the bottom of the bed. He observed the scene as an artist would, checking to make sure that there were no finishing touches to add.

"Feel better?" Alonzo jumped at the sound of the voice, which had come from the door behind him.

"Much. They won't find her for a while," the black and white tom replied, smirking at the newcomer over his shoulder.

"No. Are you ready to leave all this behind?"

"Oh yes. I've had my closure now. Lead the way." Alonzo answered, taking one last look at his handiwork to commit the image to memory before he could walk away and leave his old life behind. Macavity could accept him for who he was, and the ginger tom understood him. He didn't need anyone else, and he'd already gotten what he wanted.

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A/n: I hope you weren't expecting some hot BDSM sex scene, because that was never the plan. I only wrote the fic and did the specifics, the general idea was his. This fic remains dedicated to a former friend, we may not talk and things have gone sour. However, I wrote this for him and that's the way it'll stay. Don't assume that I hate Cassandra, I don't. She's a beautiful queen and a fantastic character. It's not her I hate. Trust me on that one. ;)


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